Jewelry Whore Problem  #109

Stella Dallas Syndrome

This syndrome is named after the title character, portrayed so vividly by Ms. Barbara Stanwyck in 1937.  SDS (as it has become known) may strike a jewelry whore any time in her life. Unfortunately, it is often in his or her prime accessorizing years.  The symptoms of this disorder include:  wearing more jewelry than the body may comfortably carry at any given time; clanging and clanking that may be heard and precede the victim for several minutes before entering a  room; ratty looking clothing that comes from the jewelry running and ruining the material; and the victim often exceeds the social norms of good taste and decorum.  SDS can also have physical manifestations such as neck and back strain, headaches,  as well as general systemic fatigue.  Past noted suffers include:  Liberace,  most members of Great Britain's Royal Family, Phyllis Diller, Elizabeth Taylor, Mr. T,  Madonna...  the tragic list goes on and on.  Currently there are no active support groups for this disorder, however,  a telethon is being researched and debated.  God bless them, everyone!