Whoreology...The Beginning

 

Many friends ask me, "Angie, how does one know if he or she is a jewelry whore?"  This is a fundamental question that has to be answered to properly identify this highly specialized individual.  I mean, sure, many people appreciate jewelry on others, but do not wear it personally.  Some people wear it to parties, but then take it off and forget where they put it. Some people wear it in private, but do not dare to be seen with it in public.  Some even wear it on a dare, afraid to be belittled by colleagues and friends.  However, there is a significant point in time when the individual passes the jewelry store of no return, where he or she crosses over to the "Sparkly Side."This state of mind is where one piece of jewelry becomes a collection; where one small, ornate jewelry box from your dead Irish great grandmother has grown to the size of a NASCAR rolling tool cabinet; where cleaning your jewelry used to take a few moments and now takes Saturday afternoon; and where  once you had  money to go out to a nice lunch with friends, but now realize it is better to LOOK good than to feel good!

 

I have assembled some pertinent questions that will helps narrow the ranks of these chosen few.  They include:

 

 1) Did you choose your spouse by the size of the engagement ring?

 2) Do you still cherish your wedding set, but luckily the spouse left?

 3) Is the phrase..."Trade in, trade up," your personal mission statement?

 4) Did you plan your children's birth to create a pleasing color palette for your mother's ring?

 5) Did you name your children/pets after famous jewelry stores?  (i.e. Tiffany, Cartier, Mr. Harry Winston)

 6) Do you always pick your jewelry first for any day/event and then your clothes?

 7) Do you always put on a piece of jewelry before leaving your home instead of taking a piece off?

 8) Do you use jewelry to define the important moments of your life?(If left up to you, every moment of your life.)

 9) a. Do you have a personal bench jeweler?

     b. Are you on a first name basis?

     c. Do you know his/her personal hobbies?

     d. Do you know their family?

     e. Do you receive holiday and thank you cards from their jewelry store. (These cards will include phrases like..."We couldn't do it without you!")

10) Have you ever said that a piece of jewelry was too big or gaudy?

11) Have you ever felt overdressed?

12) Does your spouse/significant other realize every holiday is a jewelry purchasing opportunity? (This question includes days like Clergy Appreciation Day, Administrative Professionals Day, Boxing Day...you get the idea.)

13) Is jewelry shopping your cardio-circuit training?

14) Is retail jewelry television shopping your idea of "reality" programming?

15) If loving any of this is wrong...do you want to be right?

 

There is no need to supply the answers or add up any scores.  Every self-respecting jewelry whore knows the correct responses!  Being a jewelry whore is not a choice my friends.  I feel that someday, medical science will show that we were born this way! Fly your flags proudly.  Long may the Scarlet W wave.

The Jewel



In Memory of Janis Joplin

4 October 2012

 

We only had one "Summertime" together,

Did everyone take "A Piece of your Heart," Miss Janis?

Was life really easier when Bobby sang the blues?

We all wanted to ride in your "Mercedes Benz,"

But we were all to damn drunk and high in the Porsche.

No need to "Cry Baby,"

Even though we were only on this Earth together for a year,

You changed my life.

Somedays I have a shot of Southern Comfort,

It don't comfort me much Miss Janis.

Some nights I dream that I'm wailin' and gravelin' into the mike,

Makin' the hippies cry in the Castro.

From where does that that sound come, Miss Janis?

I think it's probably South of where the other angels tread.

Thanks for being whoever you were.

That's the trouble with being an icon.

Too many graven images,

Not enough flesh and blood and bone.

You were a ghost, Miss Janis,

Even when you were walkin' the mile.

From Texas to California,

From the bottle to the syringe,

From this life to the next,

Thanks for what you had to give.

Sorry if we took too much.

                                                 

 

This is my current article in Bellesprit.com.  Enjoy!

Hoo Doo Pharmaceuticals, The Beginning

Angela Kelsheimer

Published on 05 October 2012

Hits: 41

Welcome friends to Hoo-Doo Pharmaceuticals. This is not your average local drug store, but a fantastic market place where colorful organic beauty abounds. Here the vendors do not merchandise small plastic bottles with difficult to open lids, but an amazing array of natural splendor. One will see beautiful boulders and crystals, prehistoric artifacts and fossils that took millions of years to create. Each gem and mineral has its own history and composition; its own story to tell.
It is fundamental for the reader to have open eyes for discovery on this journey. Information, not persuasion, is the endpoint of this adventure. So, open up those eyes and jewelry boxes and prepare to see the world in a different way!
My husband and I live in a small Midwestern town. We own a family bowling center. Carved out in a quiet corner of the bowling alley is where my display and work area is. Even though it is an odd location for a studio, most days find me there creating jewelry with the sound of the constantly vibrating speakers from the jukebox and the splintering bowling pins in the distance.
Being a rural area, many people know that I make, appraise, and am engaged in a torrid affair with jewelry. They also know that I study gems. Many of my friends call me a “rock nerd.” A title I proudly wear! One day, a friend came in looking for a few special one-of-a-kind jewelry gifts. While we were visiting, she asked me if I knew of any gemstones associated with helping a person to conceive. Hmmm…most jewelers would answer with the default gem, the diamond. It often leads to some lovin’ for the giver, and it makes the seller (me) happy too!
However, I took her question seriously and did some research. What I found was that rubies have a storied reputation for being the stone of love, passion, and creation (recreation). So I beaded a beautiful faceted blood-red ruby necklace which was simple and elegant and could be worn every day. I said a positive prayer over it as I do to all the pieces I make and sold it to my friend. She sent it on its way. Long story short (too late, I know)…within a few weeks, the recipient became pregnant.
Coincidence, maybe; I have no mystical powers! I do believe that Father God can use any means at his disposal to create miracles. To that end, I believe in energy (positive and negative), that elements (and compounds made up of elements) may produce and/or possess energy, that living things produce and spend energy, and that energy attracts energy. (How’s that for a compound sentence?!) Thanks Mr. Einstein, these are not just the good ideas of physics, they are the LAW!!!
I believe in the power of prayer. People who are open to good things in the Universe believe they are worthy of happiness and goodness, and have faith that they will attract abundance…WILL. It’s not just a bumper sticker, prayer changes things! Most of the world’s religions believe this too, they just say and practice it in a different way. I also believe in what I call the power of the “talisman.”
Individuals invest an abundance of personal energy and power into symbols that they believe represent their unique personal journeys and pathways. For me, it is the cross. It is a daily remembrance, a touchstone, if you will, of what I believe and why; for another it may be the Star of David, and for another a well placed piece of rock or rose quartz.
So, here’s to the journey! Here’s to beauty and sparklies in all their forms. Get ready to learn more than you might have wanted. If you ever have any questions or concerns, please contact me via e-mail at violets4gigi@gmail.com This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . If I do not know the answer, I will do my best to research and find one. Remember; don’t let anyone or anything steal your peace and joy.
Shalom. ***Buy More Beads***
Next Issue- Tourmaline and Opal

Category: Angela Kelsheimer: Hoo-Doo Pharmaceuticals

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Jewelry Whore Problem  #109

Stella Dallas Syndrome

This syndrome is named after the title character, portrayed so vividly by Ms. Barbara Stanwyck in 1937.  SDS (as it has become known) may strike a jewelry whore any time in her life. Unfortunately, it is often in his or her prime accessorizing years.  The symptoms of this disorder include:  wearing more jewelry than the body may comfortably carry at any given time; clanging and clanking that may be heard and precede the victim for several minutes before entering a  room; ratty looking clothing that comes from the jewelry running and ruining the material; and the victim often exceeds the social norms of good taste and decorum.  SDS can also have physical manifestations such as neck and back strain, headaches,  as well as general systemic fatigue.  Past noted suffers include:  Liberace,  most members of Great Britain's Royal Family, Phyllis Diller, Elizabeth Taylor, Mr. T,  Madonna...  the tragic list goes on and on.  Currently there are no active support groups for this disorder, however,  a telethon is being researched and debated.  God bless them, everyone!

   "Wealth falls on some men as copper down a drain."-
Seneca  (Roman Philosopher)

The Under Appreciated Metal,  Copper


Many people can hardly conceive of a modern industrial society without copper.  It's conductive, it's malleable, and it's ductile.  It's also PRETTY!

Copper was first found in jewelry in the Dynastic Period (circa 3000 BC), during the Egyptians rule.  Due to its softness and workability, metal smiths have worked in this material to created beautiful pieces of finery and adornment for centuries.

I first became enamoured with copper during the American Arts and Crafts Movement, primarily between the years of 1910-1925.  The jewelry of this period is clean and elemental, highly structured and architectural.  I also love the way copper jewelry from this era ages.  Its patina is dark and rich, leaving the item with a look of antiquity.  To me, these items have a stoic quality implying importance and value.

I also love the large copper jewelry of the 1950s and 1960s.  Some of the my favorite design houses  of this time period include:  Matisse, Renoir, and Rebajes.  Many of these works include bright and colorful enameling for dramatic effect. As for me,  I prefer the large metal cuff bracelets, stacked of course.(No Shrinking Violets here.)

Today copper is making a comeback.  As rose gold demand increases, so does the desirability of it's less expensive counterpart.  With record high gold prices, many designers have opted to create in copper.  In this way, the designer can keep the heft (weight) of the piece, while still incorporating gemstones.  This affordable choice helps keep the retail price in line during these leaner economic times.

Do not be afraid of copper.  It will darken quickly, and many people's skin can discolor (turn green) from extended wear.  These are not allergic reactions, but copper reacting to the environment.  Many modern designers treat copper with lacquer that seals the metal and keeps it bright and clean.  If you have untreated copper( which is often found in Native American stamped items) clean it, then seal it in a plastic bag.  If you keep away the air, you keep away the dark metal.

Here are a few copper fun facts (I know playing fast and loose with the word fun):

*Copper has been mined for 5000 years.  In fact, historians call the period between the Neolithic and Bronze Age,  you guessed it,  the Copper Age.
*Copper is an element not an alloy.  Its symbol is Cu which stands for cuprum, Latin for "metal from Cyprus ."
*It is a red/orange color out of the ground, turning brown in the air.  If exposed to air and water, it will form a lovely verdigris of blue/green.
*Copper sulfate compounds are used to prevent fungus and algae growth in standing water.
*Copper sheets used to be placed on the bottom of ships to keep assorted organic materials such as barnacles and seaweed from clinging to the hull, thus slowing them down.  Today they just add copper to the ship's paint!

For those of you who believe in the healing powers of gems and minerals, copper should definitely be in your "hoo-doo pharmaceutical's" cabinet.  It is said to prevent the wear and tear on joints and to help stop muscle cramps.  Psychologically, copper is said to encourage self-confidence and give a sense of harmony and positive attitude.  It is not directed to any particular sign or chakra.  It should be worn directly on the skin for best results.

If you do not have lacquered copper, no worries.  It cleans like a dream.  There is no need for caustic chemicals.  Just take the juice of one lemon, mix with enough table salt to form a paste, scrub desired item, and rinse with warm water.  If you would rather soak the item, just add enough warm water to the paste to cover the item, let it soak for a while, then rinse with warm water.  You will be amazed at how quickly the tarnish dissolves.

I hope this little narrative has excited you about copper.  It may be maligned at your local jewelry store, but it is really a magnificent addition to any collector.-  The Jewelry Whore

*Here's a coffee table book that I thought you might like.  It has wonderful pictures of copper.  Vintage Jewelry for Investment and Casual Wear by:  Karen L. Edeen

New Looks for Fall 2012

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New Looks for Summer